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Thursday, April 29, 2010

A Tomato, a Zombie and the Eleven Plus

The wonderful thing about the eleven plus is the ability to offer surprises, laughter, fun and enjoyment. A rather serious mini minority may take issue with a statement of this nature and feel that it reveals a bigoted and narrow approach to a deadly solemn examination.

It all revolves around a tomato. Why is a tomato a fruit when it is eaten but most often it is a vegetable? Is a tomato an exception to the rule or is the rule there to be broken?

These are not the actual words of the discussion – and readers will need to read within the lines. We call vegetables a vegetable if it is used for food – be it a leaf, a root or a flower. A tomato is a vegeratable.

The ovary of a fruit is used for food. A tomato is a fruit.

We eat a vegetable during a meal and a fruit, most often, at the end of a meal.

If you eat a tomato during a meal it is a vegetable – be it raw or cooked. A tomato after, or before, a meal is a fruit.

To clear the kidneys a tomato is used with cauliflower, carrots and ice.

To help the skin a tomato is mixed with red peppers, cabbage and parsley.

To make the Eleven Plus Zombie

3 Ice cubes cracked
1 measure dark rum
1 measure white rum
1 measure apricot brandy
2 measures pineapple juice
1 tablespoon lime juice

The Zombie is then decorated with slices of tomato, cocktail cherries and brown sugar.

Of course the question may arise: “When does an eleven plus parent feel like a zombie?”

The answer? “When trying to explain when a tomato is a fruit and when it is a vegetable.”

“When should an eleven plus parent have an Eleven Plus Zombie or two?”

“Before, during and after.”

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