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Monday, August 09, 2010

Can Eleven Plus Parents Ever Be Right?

Do eleven plus children ever play games with their parents? Some games may build out of an apparently innocent remark.

“You have done so well on this paper. I am very pleased with you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Any resultant explosion is unwarranted and unwelcome. It could even be surprising.

Other children may harbour grudges.

“You have done so well on this paper. I am very pleased with you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You always say that. You are never satisfied with what I have done. Even if I get better marks on a paper, you always want more. It is not fair.”

“I am so sorry. I only want to help.”

“No you don’t. I go to a tutor on a Tuesday. Then you make me go to a different tutor on a Saturday. You know I don’t like lessons on Saturdays. I get too much homework.”

“We only want the best for you.”

“I am simply not doing any more.”

“Please don’t speak to me like that.”

In the long run nature will take its course. Work on papers can be tiresome and ill timed.

But are the explosions and arguments simply games the child is playing? Is the child, however, showing genuine concern? There is a word in the English Language `antithetical’ (an adjective) where words are placed together to produce an effect of balance.

The Collins Paperback English Dictionary 1995 Edition gives the example:

`Where the gods command, mere mortals must obey.’

Could this be true of a relationship between a child feeling put upon and a parent trying to do his or best?

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