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Monday, October 03, 2011

Eleven Plus for Golfers

It is possible, and even likely, that this information will be relevant to remarkably few eleven plus parents. After all how many parents went out to play golf over the weekend leaving their children to work on eleven plus papers? Equally how many eleven plus children went out to play golf over the weekend leaving their parents to worry about the eleven plus?

Golf course terminology and eleven plus speak is not quite the same.

Golfer: Looks like I’m stuck on the beach.

General Explanation: I am stuck in a bunker.

Eleven Plus Speak: I am really confused with this question. Help!


Golfer: Now I’m leaking oil.

General Explanation: All is collapsing around me.

Eleven Plus Explanation: I just can’t do these questions today – all is falling apart around me.


Golfer: Get up on the dance floor

General Explanation: Get onto the putting green. Remember drives for show and putts for dough.

Eleven Plus Explanation: Take your books and papers out and start work.


Golfer: I have the yips.

General Explanation: I can’t putt any more.

Eleven Plus Explanation: I can’t handle these questions.


Golfer: Nineteenth hole time.

General Explanation: I really need a good stiff drink.

Eleven Plus Explanation: Oh good, Mum and Dad have come back from the golf course a little under the weather. I am sure they won’t notice that I just copied last week’s answers.

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