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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Taking an Eleven Plus Chance

Of course every single eleven plus child in the whole world has a properly organised eleven plus study plan. The study plan will detail the days the child will work, the subjects, the time and be in sufficient detail so that the child knows exactly what to do and when to do it. Inside the plan there will be notes about convenient times for the child to be able to shout, “Mum. Please help. I can’t do number twenty four.”

Because statistics are hard to gather, there may be one or two eleven plus children in the whole world, who are able to survive their eleven plus without the benefit of a timetable. It is possible, but not axiomatic, that the `candidate’ may be able to choose, sometimes, what he or she would like to do.

Picture the scene. Mathematics, verbal and non-verbal books are laid out over the floor. Scientific method of selection number one:

Task One – Pick the Subject
Up the ladder, down a ladder,
See the monkeys chew tobacco,
How many ounces did they chew?
Shut your eyes and think.
One two three
And out you must go for saying so.
(In this case verbal reasoning was selected.)

Task Two – Pick the Page
My mother and your mother
Were hanging out the clothes,
My mother gave your mother
A punch on the nose.
Shut your eyes and think.
G R E E N spells green, and out you go
With a jolly good clout upon your nose.

(This suggests that Page 5 was selected scientifically.)

Any truly self- respecting eleven plus parent will take umbrage at the idea of their child talking about tobacco. Other parents, or possibly the same ones, will question the need for an eleven plus child to know anything about imperial measures. Furthermore, the idea of mothers punching each other is naturally abhorrent. No child would countenance such happening. And is the word `clout’ slang or could it be found in an eleven plus paper?

Question: Does it really matter how the work is selected as long as some is done?
Answer: Sometimes
Question: Can an eleven plus family leave anything to chance?
Answer: Sometimes
Question: Do parents need to change much?
Answer: Sometimes
Question: Can Mum help with number twenty four?
Answer: Sometimes!

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