Lakes and the Eleven Plus

You have a very bright child. You would like your child to be educated in a high achieving environment. You whisper to yourself: “I would like my child to attend a grammar school.”

Because you are a mother you are allowed to be sane. Your much loved child finds it difficult to work though eleven plus papers. If the papers were offered orally then your child would be able to demonstrate skills and competence. The eleven plus examinations seem to concentrate on the ability to answer pen and paper questions. You realise that to pass an eleven plus examination a child has to be bright and hardworking – but you feel that your child has other attributes. You are naturally very aware that other eleven plus children may be just as good at as your child in the areas you wish to highlight.

You would like to tell the authorities to jump in the lake – but this could, possibly, be rather self-defeating. You child is good at picking up languages so you concentrate on developing this skill at home. Your child can say:

iTirate de cabeza al lago!

Vada a farsi friggere.

All vous faire pendre ailleurs.

Hang Dich auf!

They all mean the same thing: “Go jump in the lake.”

Will this help towards the eleven plus? Probably not much – but you could feel much better!