Parents spend a lot of time thinking about how to get the best out of their children.
One of the easiest ways to tackle a problem is to offer a lecture. This is where you stand and deliver. You offer your thoughts in a forthright manner. You assemble your thinking into a beginning, middle and end and then give vent to your feelings. At the end of the experience you will feel much better. Your child would, however, feel very different emotions.
A different way is to indulge in a group discussion. This could be no more than the family sitting around the table talking about an Eleven Plus problem. All concerned would be expected to participate and offer their opinion. You hope at the end of the discussion that your family would have made a joint decision for the good of the `Eleven Plus’ child. This may or may not have a lasting effect.
A third option could be brainstorming. All participants throw many different ideas around. There could be some repetition and some undue excitement. After the whole idea of brainstorming is to throw lots of balls into the air and hope that the correct answer evolves.
Some families may find that sensitivity training gets results. This is where the child is sensitive of the mother’s feelings. The child and the father learn to be sensitive of the mother’s feelings. Mother and child learn to sensitive about the father’s feelings. Both parents learn to be sensitive about their child. The whole family learn to be sensitive and caring about each other.
The problem is that a `touchy feely’ approach may not be quite a satisfying as letting out a blast of anger. Under the bravado and backchat of your ten to eleven year old could be a sweet gentle child just waiting for an opportunity to show his or her best side.