What makes an Eleven Plus winner? Some parents will have all the answers straight away. The rest of us may struggle just a little at times.
Method 1
Eleven Plus Child – I don’t feel like doing a paper today. I worked hard at school and I’m tired.
Parent – We will just do part of a paper today. You can do the rest tomorrow.
Eleven Plus Child – No, I just don’t want to do any extra work today. We did maths all day today. I don’t want to do a paper today.
Parent – But we agreed yesterday that you would do the mathematics paper today. You said yesterday that you are tired.
Eleven Plus Child – Well I don’t want to do it today.
Parent – I am getting fed up with this. You said you wanted to go to grammar school. You said you would do the paper today. Go to your room and get started.
Eleven Plus Child – No, I don’t want to do it. I told you I was tired. Please listen, Mum.
Parent – No. Go and do the paper now. If you don’t do it now I will stop your pocket money.
Eleven Plus Child – All right. You win. I am not happy.
The parent won and the child lost!
Method 2
Eleven Plus Child – I don’t feel like doing a paper today. I worked hard at school and I’m tired.
Parent – We will just do part of a paper today. You can do the rest tomorrow.
Eleven Plus Child – No, I just don’t want to do any extra work today. We did maths all day today. I don’t want to do a paper today.
Parent – But we agreed yesterday that you would do the mathematics paper today. You said yesterday that you are tired.
Eleven Plus Child – I hate mathematics paper. I hate the Eleven Plus. I am nor doing a paper today. You can not force me.
Parent – Oh, I give up. Leave the paper today. I don’t want to argue with you any more. You win.
The child wins and the parent loses.
The parent and the child both want to win. They are both prepared to fight to win. One side has to give way. The other side goes away feeling defeated and angry.
In both scenarios there is very little motivation for either party to work peacefully together.
If any one can suggest a different ending … please share it with us.
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