## Sunday, February 22, 2009

### Eleven Plus Shocks

Surely parents of Eleven Plus children are quick to praise their children? Just think, your child completes a full eleven plus paper. The two of you mark the paper. You find one or two errors where your child did not read the question carefully. You find evidence of two questions where it is obvious that guessing took place. The final straw comes when your child makes a mistake on a question you know should be answered correctly. What are you going to do? Shoot your child.

Over in Wisconsin an essay by a nine year old boy landed a father with a child abuse charge. The father allegedly shot his nine year old son in the buttocks with a ball bearing gun.

The boy wrote about being shot in a school essay.

The father explained that his son had been blocking his view of the T.V.

This leads us neatly to what parents could legally do to their children for making mistakes on an eleven plus paper. Please use a five point scale when 5 is total wipe out and 0 means a laugh and a hug. Please email your analysis to us so we cans share your collected thoughts.

Forgetting to read the question twice:
5 4 3 2 1

Making the same mistake twice as many days:
5 4 3 2 1

Not remembering that `product’ means multiply:
5 4 3 2 1

Your child answering back – even when you know that you are in the wrong:
5 4 3 2 1

Your child not acknowledging that you are in fact that you are the most intelligent and forbearing eleven plus parent in the world:
5 4 3 2 1

After you and your child have had an eleven plus bust up, your child then forgets to say: “Thank you for all your love and help. I am very grateful. I will never call you nerdy again.”
5 4 3 2 1

Of course we don’t want our children to be shot – physically or mentally. We don’t want to shout at our eleven plus child in order to win a pre eleven plus argument. If our eleven plus child makes a mistake – like lurking in front of the T.V. – then a simple loving admonishment will suffice. We could say: “Oh my dear, please do not linger in from of the T.V. while the rest of the family are trying to watch. We think that you are a kind a thoughtful child. Please will you move? Thank you so much.”

That language and approach is much better than a short sharp shot (sorry I meant a short sharp shock).