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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Eleven Plus Schedule

We used to have seven cats – all at the same time. Some were acquired, some acquired us. P.G. Woodhouse maintained: “Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.”

When you are trying to work out your weekly work schedule with your eleven plus child you may do well to remind your child of Stephen Baker’s poem about cats.


Monday: Sleeping and eating
Tuesday: Sleeping and eating
Wednesday: Sleeping and eating
Thursday: Sleeping and eating
Friday: Sleeping and eating
Saturday: Sleeping and eating
Sunday: Sleeping and eating

We can easily adapt this into an Eleven Plus schedule – from a reluctant child’s point of view.


Monday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Tuesday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Wednesday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Thursday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Friday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Saturday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving
Sunday: Eleven Plus Work and surviving

These words have a kind of melancholy ring. Charles Dickens wrote in Oliver Twist about a little boy who escaped the work house – and went on to better himself. We all hope that none of today’s eleven plus children will ever have to suffer the pain and misfortune that Oliver had to cope with.

The eleven plus is supposed to be a fabulous journey full of endeavour, excitement and a strong sense of fulfilment as the odds are beaten. We therefore need a more uplifting eleven plus hymn.


Monday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Tuesday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Wednesday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Thursday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Friday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Saturday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work
Sunday: Stimulating Eleven Plus Work

Why not ask your child for an apposite refrain? After all you and your children are also progeny of the Gods. Nothing half hearted please.

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