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Friday, January 18, 2013

Quick Thinking and the Eleven Plus

It is very unlikely to happen – but if it did - what a change there would be to the eleven plus! Imagine, just for a moment, if the authorities decided that in addition to be being good at eleven plus subjects, a child had to be able to speak coherently and well.

Regional accents would not matter. After all the eleven plus is spread over many parts of England. Clarity and confidence would become bywords in the eleven plus community. Parents would be able to rush out to buy `The Official Eleven Plus Talking Tools’. A glance at the contents page would show:

Arrangements children would need to follow in the examination.

Conduct within the examination centre

Difficulty of topics a child could choose to talk about. Would a child talking about the Cause of the Great War earn more points than a child discussing where a mini supermarket could be situated?

A child could choose to makes points in prose, verse or even in a light hearted manner. Would good old fashioned Knock Knock jokes come back into favour?

Picture the scene. Your child is dressed smartly and comfortably. He or she is standing on a low stage. With a delightful smile your child would begin:

“Knock Knock.”
“Who is there?”
“Eleven who?”
“Eleven plus!”

You child would roll around the stage gulping over being able to deliver an original joke.

The presentation would continue with a few words from Keats:

`Full on the casement shone the wintery moon,
And threw warm gules on Madeline’s breast.”

The examiner would ask:

“Can you rephrase the piece?”

Your eleven plus child /candidate would say:

“Full on this window shone the wintery moon,
Making red marks on my sister’s chest.”

An eleven plus pass would surely follow!