Taking Control

Dear Shaun

My husband and I both work. We run a small farm. We get up early in the morning. We have to feed the animals. My husband has dreamt of running his own farm all his life. He used to be high up in a large company.

On school days either my husband or I take the children to school. At the moment we are between three schools– and the round trip seems to take longer and longer.

My fifteen year old daughter says that she wants to leave school as soon as possible. She is very bright but just does not like the grammar school she is in. She says that she wants to get a job with horses. One of our friends runs a riding school and she wants to work there. Naturally my husband and I want her to stay on for further education. But you know what some fifteen year old girls are like.

Our middle child, a boy, would like to go to grammar, but he lives such a busy life that there is not much time for everything. He has just reached the top swimming group for his age group and has to swim five days a week at 5.45. The pool is only five miles away so there is time to nip home to do some chores before collecting him.

Little Elsie, our third child, is only six. She just fits in. My husband and I are so lucky.

How do I make time to spend with my son as he reaches this crucial stage in his life?

Mrs A.

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Dear Mrs A

Something is going to have to give. Make very sure that it is not you. Stand up for your rights as a human being.

Start with your husband. Tell him that either he organises some help for you or he will need to give up his dream and go back to his office job.

Next your daughter. Explain to her that she can not devote her life to someone else’s horses. She must help you – and tell her too that she must help herself.

Now your son. Tell him that if his swimming coach can get him to concentrate for fifty lengths then he, your son, can reorganise his after school life and do some work. Tell him enough is enough. He can not do everything. He must start today to do some regular supervised work.

I agree, thank goodness for little Elsie. At least you have one bright star in your life.

Take a sheet of paper. Divide it into columns. Put your name first. Write down what changes you know need to be made.

Call this paper your `Master Plan’. Execute the plan!

Let me know how it all goes.

Shaun