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Thursday, September 06, 2007

Listening to Mother

Mothers keep giving advice to their sons. After all mothers are expert at marital advice. I do realise that it may appear be a little early to start talking to your ten year son about marriage but this is a topic that will surely come up over the years to come. Boys who are just entering Year 6 probably do not have thoughts turning to good jobs, mortgages and marriage.

I remember reading that a man should always look at the prospective mother in law’s ankles. The theory is that if the ankles of the mother in law are `sturdy’ then it is likely that his slim and lissom wife to be will land up with rather thicker ankles. I am sure this is no more than a myth. Equally too, I have not made it my life’s work to study ankles over the years.

There is one topic that your boys could be reminded of. This is to choose a wife who has some degree of tolerance for an addiction. Warn your son that an addiction to computer games and the internet does count as a potential problem area in a marriage.

A Chinese housewife He Ling solved the problem of her husband’s addiction. She was tired of his being on the computer all the time. He did not pay enough attention to her. He simply stared into the screen for long periods. (I wonder if he made something similar to the rather unmelodic `grunts’ that some ten year olds give when they are too busy to give a reasoned answer?)

Mrs Ling simply chopped his arm off as he sat staring at his computer. Mr Ming told a local newspaper that he had felt a sharp blow, felt lots of pain, and saw pools of blood on his mouse mat.

You will note that I have been very careful not to advocate violence of any kind to any boy. I should also make a point that mothers of brides and grooms should be steadfast in banning sharp implements as wedding presents – when the time comes. I would hate too for any eleven plus child to have a bad dream and wake up in the night clutching his mouse hand to his chest.

It would not be a bad thing, however, if he woke up very occasionally at night muttering to himself: “I wish I had listened to my mother.”

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