Do any parents ever feel a sudden rush of blood to the head when their eleven plus child offers an apparently inconsequential answer? Imagine the scene, you have working peacefully together on a nonverbal reasoning exercise. (For the words non verbal substitute any other eleven plus term you would like.) You make a perfectly acceptable suggestion and this is rejected with no regard for your feelings. You experience a sudden rush of blood and are imbued with a desire to throw something or do commit a violent crime.
Place your pen or pencil carefully on the table. You could do a serious injury with the point of a pencil in the thigh.
Take ten great breaths. Breathe deeply and count slowly. If can count in Russian you may feel happier.
Say to your self: “My child is only nine. My child is only nine.”
Explain to your child calmly, but forcefully, that what was said was completely unsatisfactory. Try to avoid unsavoury and deeply wounding words.
Try to forgive your child – but explain your forgiveness at great length – and use lots of repetition.
Try to defuse the situation with humour and laughter. (This, however, is a last resort.)
Never, ever, under any circumstance ignore the slight. You may grow frown lines and grey hair. You could harbour the rudeness for years.