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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Eleven Plus Temper

Do any parents ever feel a sudden rush of blood to the head when their eleven plus child offers an apparently inconsequential answer? Imagine the scene, you have working peacefully together on a nonverbal reasoning exercise. (For the words non verbal substitute any other eleven plus term you would like.) You make a perfectly acceptable suggestion and this is rejected with no regard for your feelings. You experience a sudden rush of blood and are imbued with a desire to throw something or do commit a violent crime.

Step 1

Place your pen or pencil carefully on the table. You could do a serious injury with the point of a pencil in the thigh.

Step 2

Take ten great breaths. Breathe deeply and count slowly. If can count in Russian you may feel happier.

Step 3

Say to your self: “My child is only nine. My child is only nine.”

Step 4

Explain to your child calmly, but forcefully, that what was said was completely unsatisfactory. Try to avoid unsavoury and deeply wounding words.

Step 5

Try to forgive your child – but explain your forgiveness at great length – and use lots of repetition.

Step 6

Try to defuse the situation with humour and laughter. (This, however, is a last resort.)

Step 7

Never, ever, under any circumstance ignore the slight. You may grow frown lines and grey hair. You could harbour the rudeness for years.

Step 8

Temper! Temper!

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