An Eleven Plus Plea

There are various versions of this well known nursery rhyme.

Hush little baby, don't say a word,
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring.

And if that diamond ring turns to brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass.

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat.

And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull.

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town!

The valuable eleven plus element is the ability of the song for parents to be able to add their own words.

Hush eleven plusa, don’t feel a jerk
Mama’s gonna give you a massive perk.

And if that perk is not enough;
Papa’s the one you gotta bluff.

I think this verse is getting worse
But please hang on and do not curse.

The eleven plus exam is getting close
It’s up to you to take your dose.

I’m not sure how to stop these words
The eleven plus exam is for the birds.

This final verse will not rhyme or scan,
My eleven plus humour went down the pan.