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Monday, February 18, 2008

Eleven PLus Loss

A handbag was stolen last night while a group of fifteen of us were eating out. We all know the extent of a woman’s hand bag. The whole of life is encapsulated within the confines of a capacious handbag.

I would not presume to understand the intimate details of a woman’s handbag but a preliminary list must include keys of various descriptions. It is likely that there will be as many as ten different keys on a key ring. There must be house keys, car keys – and various unknown others.

We then need to come to cards. These will include debit cards, credit cards, store cards, gym cards, bank cards and at least another five types of largely forgotten but intensely important cards. The loss of the driving licence will remain a great inconvenience.

Then comes a collection of personal items – probably up to as many as fifty different items ranging from tissues to spare lipsticks and combs.

Naturally there will be various communication devices - from telephones to ipods to stick it notes.

Every self respecting woman will be able to recall not only the contents of her bag but the actual pockets everything resides in. When we realise that an average handbag has at least seven different significant places where items of varying importance can lie we can understand the relevance categorising and organising – and possessing instant recall.

I am sure if you laid out, in random order, every item on a large table – and then covered the table with a large white sheet any female over the age of six would be able to demonstrate total recall.

It is possible that this deep inherited trait is one of the most important distinguishing characteristics dividing men and women. Ancient cave women must have been able to lay their hands on every item they possessed as the cave became darker and darker and day light faded.

This why no mere male would presume to play Kim’s game for money with any female of his acquaintance.

This is also why some eleven year old girls are able to solve incredibly complex reasoning exercises. They can retain information. Most will display an advanced short term memory. They will be able to recall everything they wish to remember. They will be able to play the card game `Cheat’ with total conviction.

The Eleven Plus examination for many girls is no more than a passing rite of passage. They will enjoy the challenge of the examination. They will be able to appear calm and unstressed.

After all failing an Eleven Plus examination can not be as catastrophic as losing a handbag. My heart goes out to all women who have suffered such loss. The have lost their past, their present and their future. An Eleven Plus examination can not be as important as that.

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